Ruthy's Orange Rhino

Loving more, one day at a time

Day 3: Make that -2

Really REALLY bad day today.

The morning started off with a painfully routine 6am wake up call from Will.  On a typical “get mommy up 14 times a night” night, this would have been the usual torture.  But last night was pretty good, from what I can remember.  I think Will may have woken up once, sat up, then went back to sleep – awesome.  So when he decided to make the rounds this morning, I didn’t think it was too terrible to let him go get daddy.

Unfortunately, Mike thought otherwise.  At some point in the night (probably actually in morning because sleeping from 11pm to 6am is a HORRIBLE night according to him), Hannah got up and went in with Mike and proceeded to kick him.  Of course, he put up with it instead of taking her back to her own bed as is his usual way (or not) of teaching the concept of personal space…but I digress.  He comes into Will’s room (where I sleep on intercept duty) and asks me to take Will and Hannah downstairs.  Great.  I’m awake anyway, so whatever.

A few minutes later, I hear Owen get up and go into Mike’s room and, as usual again, start his “Carry me downstairs routine”.  I, being the considerate and helpful wife, try to intercept Owen and bring him down quietly.  That’s when the battle ensued.  Owen only wants daddy to carry him and not me – like that’s anything new.  “Daddy’s sleeping, you can come downstairs with me” say I.  Not good enough – as usual.  I try to take him down anyway – now he’s screaming and crying and trying to run past me.  I take him out of the room and close the door.  He’s trying to push past.  I’m dragging him down the stairs.  He’s insisting that daddy CARRY him!  No, I say, You can walk down the stairs.  Blah blah blah…next thing you know, I’ve got him down in the basement, he’s in all out tantrum mode, and he’s trying to pee on the floor in his typical mode of revenge.  I lose it and yell at him.  Level 7.  I put him on the potty and he purposefully tries to pee on the floor.  I bend him forward on the potty until he finishes.  He’s still screaming so I take him back downstairs and he starts hitting me…here it comes folks, brace yourself…I grab his hand and smack it hard, yelling, “You are not allowed to HIT ME!!!”  Good job mommy…you FAIL!  Not only do you SUCK at controlling your temper, you are the biggest freaking hypocrite alive!  Way to go!  When he finally calms down enough to speak, he tells me he doesn’t like me, and that I’m not his friend.  No kidding!?!  I don’t even like me!!!

All by 7am!

And so the day went on.

Drop-off at school was the flower of my day – more about that another time.  But all else was weeds.

More hitting each other, more tantrums, more yelling….less love.  What a FAILURE!

All I can say is, “Glad that day is over!”

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Day 2: So Far So Good

OK.  48ish hours in and I’m doing great.  Kept my cool throughout the day (helps when the kids are at school), Fonzerellied it through dinner (despite the usual, “this pizza is yucky” montage – really???  Yucky pizza?? Are you freaking kidding me???), and was steady Zeny through bedtime.  Pretty flipping amazing if I do say so!  Keep up the good work Mommy!

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Day 1: Revelations

Hello.  My name is Ruth and I am a yeller.

Well, I was yesterday.

Last night I read a beautiful post from The Hands Free Mama who has struggled with becoming the mommy she dreams of being and strengthening her relationship with her children.  The post, titled Taking Away My Daughter’s Smile described how she used to be a yeller.  She lived her life distracted and in a rush and critical and downright mean at times.  Just like me.

One day, after looking in the mirror at her nervous, stressed-out, smile-less little girl, she realized that her own unhappiness was funnelling directly into her once happy child.  Just like my children.

Her path to changing began with two simple things:

1.  See the flowers not the weeds.

2.  Good enough for today.

My path today.  To these I add:

3.  Deploy the Orange Rhino – my commitment to Yelling Less and Loving More.

This is my journey.

For my first day, the first step in coming closer to becoming the mommy I so desperately want to be.  I think I did pretty good.  Three and a half or so, meltdowns and none of them mine!  Pat on the back!

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